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WARNING: The chauvinistic, bipolar, arrogant and politically incorrect commentary and advice of Dr. Rupert do not reflect any advertiser, organization or individuals’ views or opinions … except for Dr. Rupert and is printed for light reading/entertainment purposes only.
Dear Dr. Rupert
2nd WARNING: The chauvinistic, bipolar, arrogant and politically incorrect commentary and advice of Dr. Rupert do not reflect any advertiser, organization or individuals’ views or opinions … except for Dr. Rupert and is printed for light reading/entertainment purposes only.
- Common Sense, Practical, Practice Management Advice for Dental Professionals and Patients
- The All-Knowing, All-Seeing, GURU of Everything Dental & Mental
(Please submit your questions, comments or disgruntled remarks to DearDrRupert@yahoo.com)
October 2025
Dear Dr. Rupert,
I have an old friend coming to town next week and I would like a day off to hang out and spend with my friend. Unfortunately, I have used up all my sick and vacation days, and we happen to be booked solid that day and there’s no way my boss is going to give me the day off on such short notice.
Do you have any ideas or suggestions on how I can get the day off and not get in trouble with the boss?
Signed, Need a Day Off
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Dear Need a Day off,
Gosh … I don’t know if I really want to help you! I’m on your boss’ side and don’t want you to take the day off, if the schedule is packed and everyone is working their tails off on that day. We give everyone plenty of sick and vacation days, and you really should have planned better and saved one of those days for a rainy day.
Having said that, I know as a boss, that there is one excuse for not coming into work that always freezes me and leaves me speechless, when it is cited by an employee with that early morning text or phone call. There is one condition that leaves the boss or employer with no choice, but to excuse their employee for the day … and I’ll give you the excuse, but I’m also at the same time going to ask you to earn the excused day.
The excuse that always leaves me speechless first thing in the morning is when the employee tells me that they have ‘Explosive Diarrhea’ and aren’t able to be too far away from a bathroom. A boss or employer has no comeback or response for Explosive Diarrhea. I really can’t have you wearing Depends or Adult Diapers under your scrubs and I certainly don’t want you spray painting our employee bathroom with your explosive stuff. I don’t want you anywhere near my office, staff or patients when things are exploding back there. As much as I hate to give you the day off, I’m almost glad that you’re not anywhere near the office when your back side is having a temper tantrum.
So that’s my advice for getting the day off that you need. The boss won’t ask you any questions, the boss won’t want you near their office and you’ll have the day off. Now that I’ve given you the excuse that will always get you out of work, I think morally and ethically, I’m obligated to also tell you that it’s dishonest and not cool to not show up for work unless you really have Explosive Diarrhea. I encourage you to earn the excused day off by going to the Mexican Food Cart on 2nd Street next to the Gas Station and ordering a Meat and Cheese Burrito. I’m not sure where they get their cheese, or what kind of meat they use … but I promise you’ll have a good case of Explosive Diarrhea which will legitimize the day off.
Glad I could help,
Dr. Rupert
Dr. Rupert Photo Gallery
Evidence-based proof of the shear weight and force generated by Dr. Rupert’s profound mind-bending thoughts on one of his walks in the forest. Dr. Rupert has been “Lost in His Thoughts” on eleven different occasions, and has fortunately been found by Search & Rescue each time.
Dr. Rupert answering tough questions from reporters following one of his many symposiums on Non-Artificial Intelligence’s impact on Artificial Intelligence.
Dr. Rupert is a master of multi-tasking and often dictates his advice column or telecasts his podcast, while he’s doing complex dentistry.
Former President listening intently to the advice and wisdom of Dr. Rupert.